Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize