yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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