I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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