This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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