I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
