Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize