I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
