It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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