break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
