Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
vagina is talking i cant
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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