I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
