I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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