We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't make out with my wife yet
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
