i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
