Will you blow on my dice?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
