I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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