Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
