Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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