I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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