Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
