I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize