I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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