This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
