just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
