Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
