For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
