He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
