Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize