the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
