you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize