Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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