the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
