Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
