We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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