Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize