so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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