My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she peed on how many people?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Randomize
