there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
