Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
