2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I look better un-naked...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
