In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize