I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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