I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
