Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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