Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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