oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
