he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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