I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I pour the whiskey from now on
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
