Plan B is the new Plan A
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
