dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
did i just pee glitter
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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