please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
