i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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