And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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