I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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