I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
