2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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