tell your sister to shave her snatch
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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