great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i out mim tonsoeep
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