I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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