You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
