Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
