Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
