he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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