alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize