i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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